September 28, 2015 by Caroline Leland
The Insidious Myth of the Hairless Woman
Women should work hard to distinguish themselves as not-men. It needs to be immediately obvious at first glance whether someone is male or female, because men and women inherently deserve to be treated differently. Women are beautiful, and they should devote considerable time, money and energy to enhancing their beauty — in order to maximize their natural assets. A man is expected to work to enhance his natural physical strength and power, while a woman should work to enhance her natural beauty and charm.
Women should wear makeup to cover any blemish of the skin, to bring attention to the curve of the lip and to enhance the seemly shape of the eye. Without makeup women’s faces are less entrancing, less exotic, less captivating. Without makeup women look more like men: rougher, more plain. And looks are everything for a woman, as her value in society hinges on this quality. Beautiful women are more likely to be hired in any position, and to receive more attention in any context. Therefore it’s obvious that women are best off devoting a portion of their income ($216/yr) to buying makeup, and devoting at least 5 minutes a day (1,825 minutes/year) to putting it on.
Women should wear tight clothes to show off the beauty of their feminine bodies, which should be slim — much slimmer than a man’s body. Women shouldn’t take up too much space. Women should sit with their legs together: their ankles tightly crossed and their elbows tucked in compactly. When a man sits with his legs spread apart, he’s confident and comfortable. When a woman sits with her legs spread apart, it’s crude and distasteful. (Women should also take care to moderate their voices; a loud woman is shrill, offensive, and probably bossy.)
Women don’t have body hair. At least, they shouldn’t. It’s simply hygiene. Women’s body hair is gross. Women should be soft and smooth; it’s more appealing to look and touch. Men are hairy, but women are not. It’s the natural order of things. Women should do whatever it takes (time + money + energy) to make sure they are never seen with body hair — and praise be to the gods of the patriarchy, they do. More than 99 percent of American women remove their body hair — any woman with body hair is absolutely appalling to the ubiquitous American sentiment that women have an inherent responsibility to invest in altering their bodies to suit male preference.
“American women who shave … spend, on average, more than $10,000 and nearly two entire months of their lives simply managing unwanted hair. The woman who waxes once or twice a month will spend more than $23,000 over the course of her lifetime.”
“Social psychologists, in particular, have found that women who resist shaving their legs are evaluated by others as ‘dirty’ or ‘gross,’ and that hairy women are rated as less ‘sexually attractive, intelligent, sociable, happy, and positive’ than visibly hairless women.”
“The overall effect of the norm, social scientists suggest, is to produce feelings of inadequacy and vulnerability, the sense that women’s bodies are problematic ‘the way they naturally are.’ Practices of hair removal, in turn, are said to produce ‘pre-pubescent-like,’ ‘highly sexualized’ bodies, which ultimately ‘may contribute to the increasing objectification of young girls.’” (Source)